One day I’ll wake up and be glad I did

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never do I EVER want to feel as broken and helpless as I did when I turned 15 and had my heart broken by some silly boy.

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I turn 18 in a little over three months.. feels like it was just yesterday that I turned 15. oh what a year that was.

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9:10 pm

it’s been a year since one of my last sessions in therapy. it’s been a year and I still feel the same as I did when I started. there’s someone that makes me forget about how empty and broken I am. he brings some light into my little dark cloud of a mind. but he won’t fix me. he can’t fix me. nobody can fix me. only I can fix me. and it took me a damn long time to realize that. maybe one day I’ll be okay again. maybe one day I’ll wake up and be glad that I did.

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you suck sometimes, but I’d do anything for you.

you suck sometimes, but I’d do anything for you.

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my favorite person.

my favorite person.

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Serenity - the state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled.

Serenity - the state of being calm, peaceful, and untroubled.

"Your problem, mate, is that nobody hates you more than you do. Believe me. I’ve tried."
Crowley

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"what does your tattoo mean?"
“why did you get a song lyric as your tattoo?”
“are you that obsessed with Demi that you’d get her tattoo?” 

I don’t think any tattoo will ever mean as much to me as this one. I don’t think I ever had an “easy life” or “perfect family” from having such bad memories with my step dad; emotional, verbal and physical abuse. To coping with not eating to taking it out on myself in more ways than imaginable. To the scars I have to see everyday on my arms. To the constant meltdowns because of my step father. To all the pain he’s brought upon my mom, brother and I. To having to stay at a domestic violence shelter this past summer. To having to be observed in a mental hospital for 24 hours because of the constant meltdowns and depression. To slowly recovering with outpatient treatment. To all the things I’ve gone through the past 17 years.  

"I’m a survivor, in more ways than you know"

"what does your tattoo mean?"
“why did you get a song lyric as your tattoo?”
“are you that obsessed with Demi that you’d get her tattoo?”

I don’t think any tattoo will ever mean as much to me as this one. I don’t think I ever had an “easy life” or “perfect family” from having such bad memories with my step dad; emotional, verbal and physical abuse. To coping with not eating to taking it out on myself in more ways than imaginable. To the scars I have to see everyday on my arms. To the constant meltdowns because of my step father. To all the pain he’s brought upon my mom, brother and I. To having to stay at a domestic violence shelter this past summer. To having to be observed in a mental hospital for 24 hours because of the constant meltdowns and depression. To slowly recovering with outpatient treatment. To all the things I’ve gone through the past 17 years.

"I’m a survivor, in more ways than you know"